Kwenyu Jokes!!!

1. Kwenyu mko wengi mpaka mkipika Chapo mnaziphotocopy ndio zitoshe.
2. Kwenyu mko wengi mpaka kuna roll call mkiamka na mkilala.
3. Kwenyu ni wengi mpaka mkifungua mlango asubuhi mnamwagika kwenda nje.
4. Kwenyu nyinyi ni wengi mpaka mna parallel programme
5. Kwenyu hamna choo, mnatuma wageni msituni na jembe.
6. Kwenyu mnakula sukuma wiki na mkate
7. Kwenyu mko wengi mpaka mnatumia Megarider kuingia
8. Hati Kwenyu ni kuchafu mpaka mende zinavalia slippers.
9. Shagz za kwenyu ni-dry mpaka ng’ombe ukamuliwa maziwa powder
10. Nyumba yenu ni kubwa sana mpaka ndani yake kuna round-about.

Jokes & Humour

Once upon a time in the kingdom of Heaven , God was missing for six days. Eventually, Michael the archangel found him, resting on the seventh day.

He inquired of God. "Where have you been?" God took a deep sigh of satisfaction and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds, "Look, Michael. Look what I've made!"

Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, "What is it?" "It's a planet," replied God, "and I've put Life on it. I'm going to call it Earth and it's going to be a great place of balance." "Balance?" inquired Michael, still confused. God explained, pointing to different parts of earth. "For example, northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth while southern Europe is going to be poor. Over there I've placed a continent of white people and over there is a continent of black people," God continued pointing to different countries.
"This one will be extremely hot while this one will be very cold and covered in ice." The Archangel, impressed by God's work, then pointed to a land in the eastern part of Africa and said, "What's that one?"

"Ah," said God. "That's Kenya the most glorious place on earth. There are beautiful beaches, mountains, streams, hills, and water falls.
The people from Kenya are going to be very handsome, modest, intelligent and humorous and they are going to be found traveling the world holding good jobs. They will be extremely sociable, hardworking and high-achieving, and they will be known throughout the world as diplomats and carriers of peace and go to the Olympics." Michael gasped in wonder and admiration but then proclaimed, "What about balance, God? You said there would be balance!!!"

God replied wisely, "Wait until you see the clowns that will run their government."

Mchongoano

1. Church yenu ni ya masonko hadi mkitoa sadaka nyi huimba M-PESA M-PESA.
2. Nyinyi ni wengi mpaka hao yenyu inachuma ka KBS mnajishikilia mkidoze
3. We ulizaliwa ukiwa mblack uliwekwa kwa incubator tinted ili usi wastushe watoi!!
4. Wewe ni fala siku yako ya kwanza kuona strong tea ulianza kuuliza eti kama hiyo maji imeungua!
5. Phone yako kali kwa extras iko na nailcutter
6. Tv yenu ni nzee hadi dexter anaongea kikamba
7. Ati wewe uko hairly ukipita tao mavinyozi hudai 'aki hiyo ni punch imepita!?'
8. Manzi yako ni mugly, ukisimama na yeye kwa stage, kondakta anasema.. Mizigo juu!
9. Manzi yako ni mnono akifunga belt ya yellow na umcheki far unadhani ni taxi..
10. Phone yako imezeeka hadi key pads ni za roman numberz